Monday, February 16, 2009

Send in the clowns

Got a link last night to video footage of the Seed and Feed Marching Abominable in Atlanta's 2007 St. Patrick's Day Parade.

There wasn't a parade in 2008 because a tornado hit downtown Atlanta the night before, but we're back back back for 2009, barring plague and fire and locusts. Here's a great shot of the goings on:

Here's the 2009 information so you can stake out your street corner early:

As for the video I'm trying not to be insulted that they lumped us in with the clowns but at least they did mention us and show us doing our St. Patrick's thing.

If we look like we're staggering there in the street, I got to tell you why. First off, it was sunny but it was also about 15 degrees and windy and we were suffering from the effects of being rescued.

Lemme explain.

Like damn near every parade we ever do, there's a lot of "hurry up and wait" involved; you go to where you're supposed to shape up and you wait and wait and wait for the organizers to come get you. This is very hard to do when it's cold and miserable like that. If it's during a reasonable time of the day the Band will often find a bar to hang out in but there wasn't much open at 10:00 a.m., even on St. Patrick's Day, so were were all huddled up together in a pile in the street looking for stray molecules of warmth.

Just when we thought we were assuming Popsicle temperature along came our salvation.

Two guys dressed like the Blues Brothers -- black suits and porkpie hats and etc. -- pulled up next to us in a vintage Cadillac convertible. Jake said, "Are you folks cold? Would you like a drink?" They popped the trunk on the Caddy and it was full of bottles of brandy and bourbon.

I never knew St. Bernards drove drop top Cadillacs.

By the time the organizers came and got us to march in the parade we were warm and overserved.

Oh Danny Boy, I love you so. (And Jake and Elwood too.)

On a warmer note, here's some camera phone footage of the band at DragonCon. We're wild and crazy but you can't outdress this crowd.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

A Modest Proposal -- Let's go racing, boys!

Being typed as the Daytona 500 preshow runs in the background.

This preshow is only a little bit shorter than the Academy Awards, it's after 3 in the freaking afternoon and the race has not started yet.

The Race Has Not Started Yet.

That is criminal.

When did this become Super Bowl Sunday?  Again?

Now I got to tell you, I LOVE racing.  I grew up with sports cars and have never really left the sport.  And I can handle the occasional NASCAR excursion, though I do miss the right-hand turns.

I just want 'em to line up the cars, turn on the cameras, and run the sonofabitch.  Is that asking too much?

I don't want a rock concert; if I wanted to watch one I'd tune to Austin City Limits.

I don't want to meet the guy who painted Dale's car.

I don't care to see pictures from Jeff Gordon's daughter's playdates.

I want to see some racing.  Period.

I especially don't want to hear some country-western American Idol wannabee massacre the National Anthem.  Give it more respect than that. Sing it straight up or not at all.

Who cares who's in the pace car?  I want them driving slightly ahead of the 43 other guys on the track just for a little while.

I want all those machine heads in the suits to shut the fuck up.   Most of all YOU, DW.  If you're not driving I don't care what you think.

Stop calling the drivers on the radio on the pace lap -- they're busy, goddammit.  Let the man do his job.

It's not Saturday morning so let's not have any cutesypoo animation.  I especially don't want anything that even looks like "Speed Racer."

Leave the bizarre camera angles to MTV and show us who is ahead of everybody else.

I don't give a shit how it sounds, I know what a racing engine sounds like when it's good and I know how it sounds when it's dying and I'm not impressed either way. In fact there is nothing as sickening as an engine that is giving way and I don't have to hear it over and over again.

I don't have to see crashes from every angle including underground. It happens. Clean it up and let's go.

Am I asking too much?

Drop the bullshit.  Run the race.

I bet ratings would go up.

PS Called for rain short of the total distance, a guy who had just taken the lead before it started to rain and led for one lap "won" the race. If they had started the thing at a decent hour -- like, say, 12:30 -- they would have gotten the race in before it rained. See, even God agrees with me.